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Is there such a thing as a 'true life purpose', and do we need one?

12/5/2016

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As some of you know, I'm involved as a faculty member at Primal Happiness' online community Thrive.

Every couple of months the Thrive community has a theme to focus on and explore for 30 days. This month's theme is 'The Super Power of Serving'.

It got me reflecting on the idea of 'life purpose' and whether there is such a thing as 'one true life purpose', as promoted by many self-help approaches? And whether we even need one? 

I'm finding that the more I see what a shifting feast *I* am, that I prefer to remain open to 'purpose' in the moment and find it more helpful to ask: 'What can I do to serve, today, now, from who and where I am now?'

Here's how it's described by Lian at Primal Happiness:

'Due to the way the self-help world has often misunderstood and over-used the word ‘Purpose’, it can come loaded with ‘shoulds’ and the sense that life isn’t worth living unless we’re following some grand, world-changing passion.

So we want to be clear, when we’re talking about Purpose we don’t mean a big Holy Grail that we have to spend our life seeking (however if you have found that, more power to your elbow!), instead we mean something that’s a natural part of how humans are designed.


What we’ve often seen is that people overlook the significance of Purpose and can believe it’s somehow optional... something that’s just too hard to figure out and that they can choose to opt out of. But it's essential to humans that they are contributing to their community in some way, as it’s one of the fundamentals that allows humans to survive and thrive.'

To encourage Thrivers to think more broadly about how we can serve in the moment, these are the questions being posed to Thrivers:

* What are my super powers of service - what am I good at? 
* What do other people say I’m good at? (And please do let others in the group know what you see as their super powers of service.)
* What can I do to increase and grow my super-powers?
* Who can I help?
* What am I passionate about?
* What do people need?

I'm looking forward to exploring all these - alongside my fellow Thrivers - as well as experimenting with giving my attention to the idea of regularly carrying out acts of service.

If you fancy joining us, you can take advantage of the 2 week FREE TRIAL being offered by Lian and Jonathan http://primalhappiness.co/thrive/. You will get to share and learn and get an experience of the Thrive community AND get access to the BRILLIANT and quite frankly (life-changing) Happy School classes. You will also get to take part in any Q and A coaching calls, and Thrive Masterclasses that are taking place. I'm leading a Thrive Masterclass on Loss on Tuesday 17th May and it would be lovely to have you join us.

Love to you, Kate x
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Ebb and flow, ups and downs

12/5/2016

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Ebb and flow is something Lian and Jonathan at Primal Happiness talk about a lot and I find it so helpful.

I used to strive to be more consistent, to not fall into low states of consciousness, to keep level as much as possible, and BOY was I disappointed in myself when I couldn't keep that up for more than a short stretch at a time.

I tried it all (not very consistently mind you...!): acknowledgements, grateful fors, affirmations, morning pages; dabbled in CBT, meditation, attempts to be more mindful.


Last week I felt full of energy, did more and more, got less and less sleep, but felt good (or so I thought) and energised by my energy. 

And then Wednesday evening came, and I flipped at a tantrum one of my kids was throwing at bed time. I saw red, I blew my top, I swore (not a regular occurrence, especially when the kids are in ear shot), and all this, seemingly out of nowhere.

And then I blew my top some more, downstairs once my husband was home. And I realised how tight and closed and tense I'd become, despite, seemingly, enjoying all my busy-ness that week, and, I had thought, without any adrenaline being involved.

So I noticed my tightness, thought the blow out was it, but then found myself in a puddle of tears on Friday night, telling my husband I wasn't sure I wanted him to be the birth companion at our baby's birth because I felt so disconnected from him.

We can go into the whys and wherefores all this came about, but what was super interesting to me was how on Saturday morning everything all looked different. 

I have my hunches why I got myself in a twist during the week - my busy-ness was taking me further and further from myself (though my ego obviously thought it felt fine). I know that when I'm disconnected from self, from source, I suffer. 

But the biggie here is that we ebb and we flow, we're up and we're down, life is super-duper transient: from a puddle of tears at the kitchen table on Friday night and a total sense of disconnection, to singing in the car with the windows down on Saturday morning, feeling peaceful and grateful.

Quite frankly: we can try our hardest to hold on, to keep steady, to be consistent in mood, but we're wasting an awful lot of energy: 

Life has a rhythm and an intelligence of it's own. We can tap into that rhythm, be aware of it, but we cannot dictate the overall tune. 

The best thing we can do is stay alert, play as beautifully as we can when we remember, accept our bum notes when we don't, and keep admiring and wondering at the composer - who's genius is so great, we're never going to hear or understand it all. 
​

Love to you all, Kate x

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    Kate Barsby

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    Coach and mentor to professionals, business owners, and passionate people leading busy international lives.

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