You’ve heard about being stuck up the proverbial creek without a paddle…

Well what about being stuck up said creek with a really leaky boat?  

Suddenly having a paddle, or not having a paddle, is the least of your worries...



Why the state of your boat matters

Our lives are like the creek: sometimes smooth-going, sometimes, full of rapids. There’s not a lot we can do about the state of the creek, but we can do something about the state of the boat we’re travelling in.

Many of the clients I work with live internationally and travel on (or over) particularly challenging seas (quite literally sometimes) - away from their families and friends, adjusting to new environments and cultures, creating friendships on the hoof and dealing with the uncertainty of short term contracts, regular relocation and job transition.

The strains and stresses of this kind of living can take their toll and wear holes in your boat. When you’re living this kind of life it’s doubly important, in my opinion, to do boat-maintenance on a daily basis.

Flailing about in a panic for a paddle when the big challenges hit is futile if you’re sailing a fundamentally leaky vessel.

6 Key Boat-Builders

There are 6 key things you can do to build up an ongoing, daily practice of habits and mindsets, which mean that when you hit the Grade 4 rapids, your boat is sufficiently creek-worthy to navigate what’s ahead with grace and ease (paddle or no paddle).

Boat-Builder ♯1: Commit to being 100% responsible for everything that happens in your life

The best way to get really seaworthy is to KNOW and fully GET (and let me tell you this has taken me years and I still have the occasional wobble) that you are at CHOICE every moment of everyday.

This means getting to grips with the little gremlins (the limiting beliefs and fears), which sit on your shoulder and encourage you to play the victim and pass the buck.

This means taking control of your life and the way you feel in a big (and sometimes scary way) but boy, can this be the deal breaker when it comes to building up a mental toughness and your ability ride the rapids with ease when things happen in your life which don’t go 100% in your favour.

Boat-Builder ♯2: Get to know yourself, fully

The clearer you are about who you are and what you’ve got to offer - your strengths and your weakness - the easier it will become to create and capitalize on the opportunities that are right for you, and in doing so, encounter less false starts, self-doubt, dead ends and ‘rapids’.

This doesn’t mean hiring a psychotherapist to dig into the minutiae of your past. It means reflecting on your strengths and values and your unique capabilities (your ‘genius’ if you like) and how those things are valuable and of worth both in a professional and personal context.

Again this is a biggie, and a potentially daunting one. The good news is that the people who commit themselves to this process generally end up liking themselves MORE, not less!

Boat-Builder ♯3: Learn how to make your brain work FOR you, not against you

Get to grips with the basics of neurology – and I mean the basics! Once you know how to make your brain work for you, rather than against you, you can go about manipulating it to your advantage and using it to support you through the tough stuff.

For years I didn’t realize how I was letting my brain work against me and getting me into all sorts of bother – I’m now firmly back in the driving seat, calling the shots and reprogramming when there’s a short circuit.

No more unnecessary adrenaline and much less stress.

Boat-Builder ♯4: Understand the connection between your mind and your body

This one doesn’t have to be on some kind of hippy yogic level, it simply means becoming more aware of your body and how the way you use it affects how you feel about what’s happening.

It truly IS possible to alter your state of mind by adjusting your body. If you don’t believe me: try standing up, throwing your hands in the air and saying ‘I feel awful’ in a depressed voice – I guarantee you will struggle not to smile.

Boat-Builder ♯5: Get real about what is and isn’t working in your life

No one can expect to operate at their best on a daily basis (let alone deal with the Grade 4 rapids when they appear), if there’s a constant drain on your energy - if you’re physical environment is getting you down, your work-personal life balance is poor, or you’re using up vital brain space with a never-ending to do list.

Get real about what is and isn’t working in your life, what’s draining your energy, what you’re tolerating and what things you’d like to be in your life that aren’t.

Boat-Builder ♯6: Make the changes to your daily and weekly routine that keep your reserves of energy and personal wellbeing topped up

Often the first thing we do when we’re under duress is close in on ourselves and stop doing the things which give us the most pleasure, support, healthy energy and keep us sane. 

Work gets intense? We minimize our trips to the gym. 
We move to a new place? We reduce communication with our old friends and support networks.

When you know what supports you and what you really need in your life to be at your best, you can ensure those things are prioritized in such a way that your personal reserves are permanently topped up. That way when a tough time does occur you’re not running on empty with nothing left in the tank, or, to stick with our metaphor: travelling in your boat without an adequate lifejacket.

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I'd love to know what resonates here for you?

What are the techniques or approaches you’ve used or changes you’ve made which have helped your boat become more sea-worthy (and YOU become more resilient) over the years?

You can share your thoughts in the comments below.

A brilliant summary of what I teach!

I was taught a trick a few years ago by a coach of mine that was the weirdest experience at first. 

I stuck with it, and five years on, I couldn’t do without my daily dose of esteem-boosting magic.

At the time I was in career transition, undergoing the long haul of looking for a job. It was February, days were spent writing covering letters and adjusting my CV, and there wasn’t a lot to mark one day out from the next. Morale was low and I wasn't feeling great.

I'm sure you've you've been there at one point or another. Job hunting seems to have the ultimate potential for unsettling esteem and lowering confidence however rock solid it is at the start...!

What my coach asked me to do was literally painful to me at first. It was The Last Thing I felt like doing, and she and I had to almost force it out of me the first time around.

Cheerleaders and champions

As human beings we thrive on being told we’re doing a good job. That we’re on the right track, that we’re making progress. Parents are often good at doing this for their kids, teachers can be too, as can the right kind of boss. This feedback provides us with vital markers as to how we’re doing in life, and if we have enough of it, at the right times, we feel good and our confidence blossoms.

Because so much of our adult life is spent working alone on personal long-term projects, like 'job hunting', 'building a business', 'living', 'parenting', and 'generally trying to be a good human being' - all with their ups and downs, highs and lows, and with very little feedback whatsoever about how we're doing - there's a real need for us to become our own cheerleaders and champions.

The pain and the gain 

My coach's request was that when we spoke the following week I should bring a list of 20 things I acknowledged myself for achieving. They could be as small as making the bed in the morning or watering a dying plant; or as significant as sending off a job application or successfully networking with a potential employer.

I duly did the list and she duly asked me to read it out to her the following week.

I literally couldn’t speak to begin with; I was all embarrassed giggles and stops and starts. It felt SO weird to be congratulating myself out loud for all I’d achieved. (I’m smiling at the cringing that was involved, as I write.)

But boy, did I feel better afterwards. I felt really good. I couldn’t believe the shift in my perspective of myself. My confidence was boosted and I felt energized and motivated to do it again. 

I’ve since established a daily practice of acknowledging myself for what I’ve achieved HOWEVER small – taking the focus off the big goals (eg. finding a job or being successful in my business), and focusing on the smaller things.

A word of warning

I’ve noticed it’s really easy to ditch the habit of acknowledging myself when things are going great. ‘Oh, I don’t need to acknowledge myself tonight, I’m tired and anyway things are going fine.’ 

It's at those times, I need to consider that things may have been ‘going fine; because of all the acknowledging I’ve been doing, and that it’s super easy to slip into the doldrums. You never know what’s around the next corner, or how long you’re going to need to stay buoyant and upbeat in the face of a long-term project or challenging time. So it's important to see acknowledging yourself on a regular basis as insurance against the tougher times – I say this as much a reminder to myself as to you!

A challenge

Before you go to sleep tonight, ask yourself: 'What are the three things I’d like to acknowledge myself for achieving today?' Force them out, however small; it’s not always easy at first. Try involving a friend or a partner in the process and tell your acknowledgements to each other. Commit to this practice for a week without questioning it, and see how you feel at the end. If you feel better about yourself: try committing to a month!

*To give yourself a headstart, I challenge you to write 3 acknowledgements, right now, in the comments below. 

I'll keep my end of the bargain put mine there too.


As always I look forward to hearing your thoughts and feedback (!)

The Unstoppable Power of Intention

This week did not start well: I sat down at my desk, opened my computer, and promptly developed a nervous tick, (or what I more accurately term: nervous click).

I checked email. I checked Facebook. I made the odd comment, answered the odd email. I refreshed both pages to see what was new... Nothing was new, so I refreshed the pages again.

What was I doing? I was checking email and Facebook.

What was I really doing? I was doing my damnedest to avoid the fact that I was overwhelmed by all the thoughts in my head about what I wanted to do this week. I had no clear intention and was vainly hoping that checking Facebook and email (which ironically are both full of other people’s priorities and intentions...!) was going to inspire me (or at the very least make me feel I was achieving something).

After 30 minutes nervous clicking, I’d achieved the grand total of: nothing.

This was yesterday - Tuesday is my Monday – and Mondays, in my experience, (Tuesdays in my case), carry a particularly high risk of nervous click.

UNLESS.

Unless, I unleash the Unstoppable Power of My Intention, BEFORE nervous click sets in.

Let me explain:

A Solutions Device, Not A Storage Device

Our brains, (contrary to the way we often try to treat them), are solutions devices, not storage devices. 

Our brains like to get things done. When our brains are overloaded with thoughts, as mine was yesterday morning, they look for the nearest and most defined task they can get done and feel a sense of completion and satisfaction about. That’s why the washing up can look so attractive when you’ve got a report to write, or Facebook can seem so very appealing when there’s a big long list of things to get done, but a lack of clarity about where to begin or what’s a priority.

Our brains want to help us, but they need definition and clear instruction.

This is where intentions come in. 

The Might of The Big Red Cartoon Arrow

Intention-setting acts like a big red cartoon arrow pointing down from the sky, helping our brains sift through never-ending fog of 'to dos', and focus in on what's truly important. 

Once I realized my mistake yesterday, I back tracked, shut my computer and started where I normally start: with emptying all the thoughts running round my brain onto a piece of paper and setting my intentions for the week; three key things I want to get done over everything else, that will make me feel really good about myself and my business, and help me to move forward. I then broke these down into manageable bite-sized tasks with defined beginnings and endings and put these in my calendar.

By the end of the day I’d made significant progress with two of those intentions. I'd resurrected my week, was feeling purposeful and good about life again, and that nervous click...

...was HISTORY.

Magic

Admittedly there’s a clear process I follow to ensure I stay on track and get things done, but what I’ve discovered over time is that even if I don’t do as I prefer to do and break down and calendarise the tasks related to my intentions, just drawing my brain’s attention to those key intentions seems to be enough. 

Magically, whatever else is going on, however busy the week, however many other important 'to dos' come on to my list, those intentions, seem to get done. 

• In what ways do you experience the unstoppable power of your intention?
  
• How do you get clear on your intentions before your week begins? 
  
• There’s still time, and I'd love to know: What are you intentions for the rest of this week...?!
  

I love hearing your thoughts and feedback - drop me a line in the comments below.

*You can get a free copy of the the super-effective 'Getting Things Done' Toolkit which covers emptying your brain and intention-setting in lots more detail, when you subscribe to this blog.*