When I started writing this blog I committed myself to writing weekly. As you may have noticed, I’ve fallen short of my target these last couple of weeks. There’s been a lot going on at ISC World HQ/my desk: exciting new connections and new clients, coupled with running the house and looking after our son while my husband’s away. I’ve had to remind myself of the importance of simplifying. 

Less is more. Really? REALLY?? 

Surely more is more, less is less; the more the better, the less, the… Okay, so perhaps my poetic limits have been reached, but you get the picture. For someone who is hardworking and holds high standards for themselves and others, it took me years to really take the lessons inherent in the ‘less is more’ mantra to heart. How could less be more? How could less be anything more than less? Here’s what I’ve learnt:

# 1: Less IS more.

By defining and putting boundaries around what is and isn’t possible in a day, ‘less’ DOES become ‘more’ because you’re able to be more present, more creative, more purposeful, and more effective, giving you greater satisfaction and your clients/colleagues greater results; you literally become larger and more vital, and therefore more impactful, by spreading yourself LESS thinly.

# 2: Simplify, simplify, simplify.

Look around and get rid of what’s not crucial or vital. What could actually be done tomorrow, or not at all (??!!), without the world crashing down around your ears?

So often we think it all HAS to be done TODAY. But why? Who says? Often it’s just us and our standards and expectations, saying; or our beliefs about what other people think our standards and capacities should be. I can find myself getting all in a spin:  my brain's shouting: ‘There’s so much to do!’ ‘Where do I begin?’ ‘I can’t do it all!’ - and when I talk it over with my husband and gain some perspective, I realize that actually very little of it HAS to be done. In fact, there are somethings on my list which, if I’m honest, are NEVER going to get done.  

Time to strike these tolerations off the list, let go of perfectionist ideals, and get on with other stuff.

# 3: 'Under' promise and 'over' deliver

Surely us conscientious, high standards-holders should promise BIG, AND do our damndest to deliver. Doing anything less wouldn’t be properly living would it? It would be underselling ourselves, and doing a disservice to our friends and colleagues. Right?

Wrong.

The irony is, that actually one of the things human beings MOST respect about other people is their ability to stick to their word, know their boundaries, and always deliver on what they say. 

It’s not a failing to have boundaries, or to say no. It’s a failing (in my book) to live life constantly stressed out by unattainable expectations and pressure; to not be able to be fully present for our children or friends or colleagues because we’re so caught up in our own thoughts about the things we 'need to get done’.

Set yourself up for success (and zero headaches) by ‘under’ promising and ‘over’ delivering. Allow yourself to bask in the feeling that you deliver on what you say you will, AND have time for things and people you love.

We all have an innate wisdom inside of us: our personal brilliance.  A voice that - if we quieten the chatter down in our heads enough to hear it - is there rooting for us, telling us what’s best for us and guiding us on the right direction to take. 

It’s the same wisdom or flow which creative geniuses tap into when they’re creating their greatest works – think Mozart,… think Da Vinci… think Einstein….

….think.... you!

The problem is that when our mental space is crowded we tend to ignore this inner wisdom, get ourselves in a tangle and over-think the tasks in front of us, leading to an unproductive, uncreative place characterised by our old friends Ms Procrastination and Mr Overwhelm - RIGHT where I found myself at the start of this week...

Excess baggage

I was up to my ears in work and childcare (husband’s away) with no time to get on top of the cleaning. The state of the house was starting to really get to me. I was unable to focus on my work, yet didn't feel justified in spending precious work-time cleaning up the mess that was distracting me - Catch 22. Every time I saw the stuff on the bed or the washing pile, I spent precious brain space noticing it, ruminating on it, deciding not to do anything about it - 'because there was just too much else to do!!' - and then noticing it all over again two hours later.

I'd been running this mental pattern for several days (with the mess steadily accumulating). The more drained my brain was by the 'not-acted-on messy-house thoughts', the less space there was for me to feel positive and creative about all the important things I DID want to get done. I realised I was getting dangerously close to being paralysed by my old pal Mr Overwhelm. 

Through a sheer act of will I quelled enough of my rising panic, and cleared enough head space to sit down and ask myself, ‘What would make the biggest difference here, right now?’

The answer was drastic and quite simple: I called in an emergency cleaning lady. Three hours later, I felt AMAZING. Her presence and her EFFECT!! spurred me on to put the clothes in the loft that had been sitting on the bed for longer than I care to remember. I sorted out the washing and generally get back on top of things - a major toleration, dealt with. So much so, I had enough piece of mind to sit down, *do an ‘empty’, tap back into my innate wisdom and personal brilliance, and - miracle of miracles -: calmly and logically(!!) organise the rest of my week.

*See my guide to Getting Things Done to learn more about this personal effectiveness gem!

Clearing out the clutter

We’re all geniuses of one kind or another but the shine gets rubbed off our brilliance by the tolerations we allow to crowd in on our mental space. This mental baggage dulls our shine, and dilutes the energy and attention we're able to give to the important things in our lives. Our ability to create and respond, is reduced to simply dealing with and reacting.

If you’re feeling overwhelmed, fuzzy headed, struggling to see the woods for the trees, feeling ‘down’ about yourself, or wanting to take your personal standards to another level, it's worth stopping and taking account of all the toleration gremlins you may be dragging along in a mental suitcase behind you.

Tolerations come in many forms – toxic people, unfinished tasks, not saying no, a never ending to do list, our environment, an unresolved matter with a family member, our messy desk, that broken vase, those clothes you’ve been hording but not worn for ten years. 

Clearing out the clutter in your mental space will enable you to access your innate wisdom (your brilliance) and be at your best. It’s from a toleration-free space that you’ll make the best decisions, come up with the best solutions, and healthily handle challenging situations and relationships.

Your 4-Step Guide to Toleration Zapping

Toleration Zapper # 1: Make a list

Make a list of everything you’re tolerating in your home environment, your work life, your relationships, your community, your physical surroundings.

Don’t worry how long the toleration list gets, or how you’ll resolve them, just write them down. Rest assured that just by having them down on a piece of paper you’ve faced up to them, acknowledged them, and the solutions will come.

Toleration Zapper # 2: Look for connections 

Take a look at your list and see if there are any connected tolerations. Sometimes there’ll be a pivotal toleration which once dealt with has the effect of resolving several others. – my messy house for example which spurred me on to sort out several other tolerations. Or perhaps you’re tolerating a poor sense of community, a bad back, and a lack of interests outside of your work – joining a sports club or pilates class could tackle all those tolerations at once.

Toleration Zapper # 3: Identify solutions

Next to each toleration write down what needs to happen to get rid of the toleration once and for all. Some are simple: TIDY UP!! 

Others perhaps take a bit more thought.

Toleration Zapper # 4: Trust the process

What you tend to find is that by turning around and acknowledging all these tolerations face on (overwhelming as that might seem at first if your list is a long one), you’re actively putting your attention on the intention to get rid of them. And once the intention is there, you’ll be amazed how quickly the solutions come and you put the necessary actions in place to get rid of them once and for all.

So, over to you:

• What’s broken and needs mending?
  
• What’s in a mess?
  
• What can be tidied and put away?
  
• What’s been niggling away at you to do for months and you keep pushing to the back of your mind, only for it to resurface two weeks later?
  

Write it down. Take the action you need to get it done - TODAY - and move on; your mental space a little clearer and your inner brilliance shining a little brighter.

Tip: For quick wins: start with your physical environment. You’ll make quick progress and this will spur you on to address other tolerations related to your family and your work.

Let me know how you get on!

A brilliant summary of what I teach!

The Unstoppable Power of Intention

This week did not start well: I sat down at my desk, opened my computer, and promptly developed a nervous tick, (or what I more accurately term: nervous click).

I checked email. I checked Facebook. I made the odd comment, answered the odd email. I refreshed both pages to see what was new... Nothing was new, so I refreshed the pages again.

What was I doing? I was checking email and Facebook.

What was I really doing? I was doing my damnedest to avoid the fact that I was overwhelmed by all the thoughts in my head about what I wanted to do this week. I had no clear intention and was vainly hoping that checking Facebook and email (which ironically are both full of other people’s priorities and intentions...!) was going to inspire me (or at the very least make me feel I was achieving something).

After 30 minutes nervous clicking, I’d achieved the grand total of: nothing.

This was yesterday - Tuesday is my Monday – and Mondays, in my experience, (Tuesdays in my case), carry a particularly high risk of nervous click.

UNLESS.

Unless, I unleash the Unstoppable Power of My Intention, BEFORE nervous click sets in.

Let me explain:

A Solutions Device, Not A Storage Device

Our brains, (contrary to the way we often try to treat them), are solutions devices, not storage devices. 

Our brains like to get things done. When our brains are overloaded with thoughts, as mine was yesterday morning, they look for the nearest and most defined task they can get done and feel a sense of completion and satisfaction about. That’s why the washing up can look so attractive when you’ve got a report to write, or Facebook can seem so very appealing when there’s a big long list of things to get done, but a lack of clarity about where to begin or what’s a priority.

Our brains want to help us, but they need definition and clear instruction.

This is where intentions come in. 

The Might of The Big Red Cartoon Arrow

Intention-setting acts like a big red cartoon arrow pointing down from the sky, helping our brains sift through never-ending fog of 'to dos', and focus in on what's truly important. 

Once I realized my mistake yesterday, I back tracked, shut my computer and started where I normally start: with emptying all the thoughts running round my brain onto a piece of paper and setting my intentions for the week; three key things I want to get done over everything else, that will make me feel really good about myself and my business, and help me to move forward. I then broke these down into manageable bite-sized tasks with defined beginnings and endings and put these in my calendar.

By the end of the day I’d made significant progress with two of those intentions. I'd resurrected my week, was feeling purposeful and good about life again, and that nervous click...

...was HISTORY.

Magic

Admittedly there’s a clear process I follow to ensure I stay on track and get things done, but what I’ve discovered over time is that even if I don’t do as I prefer to do and break down and calendarise the tasks related to my intentions, just drawing my brain’s attention to those key intentions seems to be enough. 

Magically, whatever else is going on, however busy the week, however many other important 'to dos' come on to my list, those intentions, seem to get done. 

• In what ways do you experience the unstoppable power of your intention?
  
• How do you get clear on your intentions before your week begins? 
  
• There’s still time, and I'd love to know: What are you intentions for the rest of this week...?!
  

I love hearing your thoughts and feedback - drop me a line in the comments below.

*You can get a free copy of the the super-effective 'Getting Things Done' Toolkit which covers emptying your brain and intention-setting in lots more detail, when you subscribe to this blog.*

Re-thinking 'routine'

I used to hate the word routine thinking it was boring, a spontaneity- and creativity-killer and what 'anal' people did. 

How wrong I was. 

Routine (or as I prefer to think of it now: Ritual) is enriching and freeing. Knowing what we're doing when, and doing those things more deliberately gives greater meaning to life, a welcome sense of control and through that sense of control, a sense of liberation and creativity, a sense of me fully owning and running my life (rather than my life owning and running me).

I was reminded recently of a quote I came across on a discarded box of shower toiletries: 'happiness is our passion to change everyday routines into meaningful rituals'. Aside from the cheesy marketing(!) there's a lot of truth in this.

Noticing the sky

For me happiness comes from feeling at peace. 

To feel at peace I need to feel a sense of equilibrium with enough space and time around me to feel fully present to what's going on around me. It's when I'm present to life that life comes easily, and when I'm not present that things get hard.

Over the years I've established several daily habits or rituals which keep me grounded and my reserves of energy and wellbeing topped up; things that help me create the space and time around Me that I need. My favourite is to ensure I notice the sky each day - you wouldn't believe what a powerful daily habit for me this is - I'm sure you've got your own. 

When life starts controlling you rather than the other way round

Normally these daily acts are enough, but life is moving fast - I'm working hard at my business and we're likely facing another period of transition as my husband's current contract comes to an end. Recently I've been noticing life slipping away from me a bit, and external events starting to feel as if they're in control of me rather than the other way round.

With our family's future uncertain, I'm aware that even more than ever, making ritual out of routine is the way to claw back control and create stability and intention in days that seem to start in one place (in terms of our understanding of what the future holds), and end in another.

The Game Changer

With life so busy, injecting MORE into life is not the answer. Ritualising what is already happening is the key. 

Pondering this on holiday my husband and I came up with the radical solution of ritualising breakfast. 

This might not sound much to the casual observer, but to us, it's been a game changer, and you know how I feel about those....!

For us, making more of breakfast time means several shifts in the way we currently do things:

• it means going to bed earlier so we can get up and get showered before getting our little boy up and all sitting down together
  
• it means doing the washing up from dinner the evening before, giving us more time together in the morning
  
• it means being organised and laying the table for breakfast and preparing lunch for the next day before we go to bed
  

The big plus of all of this is we all have a moment to share and connect before the day begins; my husband leaves for work earlier; our little boy has a regular departure time for creche; and I'm able to be at my desk promptly by nine o'clock. 

It ALSO means my husband is able to return earlier from work in the evening, see our little boy, give me some space, and for us both to sit down to dinner together at a decent time.

The Power of Turning Routine into Ritual.

These are HUGE changes - let's not forget: breakfast used to be eaten standing up in instalments whilst simultaneously making lunch, getting our little boy ready for creche, showering and discussing the day ahead.

As I say: for us, a game changer - it's been two weeks now and we haven't looked back - you wonder why we never did it before...?! 

We start the day with a sense of space and time and control - I'm smiling just thinking about it, it really has helped us create a sense of stability and grounding at the start of the day that impacts massively on our sense of control over life in a turbulent time.

• What are the daily rituals that enrich your life?
  
• Which routines have you turned into rituals?
  
• What benefits they've brought? 
  
• Or perhaps this article strikes a cord, and you can see a way to bring more control back into your life by ritualising something you do on a daily basis?
  

I look forward to hearing your thoughts and feedback in the comments below. Happy Ritualising!