I've been struggling with our 3 year old's behaviour recently. On (my) good days it's fine. On my bad days, (surprise, surprise) I see all the bad things; we clash, I'm angry, I'm frustrated, I feel tired.
It's been getting me, and wearing me, down.
I run the usual record in my head, an endless storm-cloud of sticky thinking that gets me nowhere: Is this normal? If it is normal, I'm not coping very well. Should I read something? What should I read? Should we be trying harder/ a different approach? Is it us? Should we be better at this?
And on the thinking goes goes ad infinitum... Or ad a serious headache and need for a lie down/ adult time-out/ strong gin and tonic/ an escape shoot.....
....'til I suddenly had a longed for (deeply grateful for) flash of remembering:
Look for the Love.
The quiet voice in my head (and heart), the one that speaks when my shouty, whiney, busy, this is SO hard, head-voice shuts up for a minute, told me this:
'When there's brightness in his eyes, let it radiate out and into yours.
'When there's curiosity in his voice, enter into his questions, and his world.
'When there's creativity and energy in his actions, meet them with your own (if you do this open-heartedly, you will find that you have more than enough of both of these in the moment, never mind the night, the day, the week that's gone before).
'When he's angry sit with him.
When he's sad, sit with him.
When he's tantruming, sit with him, tell him it's okay and let it run it's course.
'ALL of the tricky stuff is just his sticking thinking. If you add yours to it, neither of you are ever going to 'win' this game called Life, particularly the game called Life with a three-year old and a tired mummy.'
I hear this little voice and it leaves me with this:
'Lean into the Love.
'When your thinking stops for a minute and you are clear-minded enough to notice even a glimmer of what's deeply True in that little person, dive into it, celebrate it, nurture it, enjoy it.
'Nurture what's True, and the rest will sort itself.
'Nurture what's True and you will know what to do and how to handle him, and you.
Nurture what's True and LEAVE the sticky thinking alone... his and yours.'
It's been getting me, and wearing me, down.
I run the usual record in my head, an endless storm-cloud of sticky thinking that gets me nowhere: Is this normal? If it is normal, I'm not coping very well. Should I read something? What should I read? Should we be trying harder/ a different approach? Is it us? Should we be better at this?
And on the thinking goes goes ad infinitum... Or ad a serious headache and need for a lie down/ adult time-out/ strong gin and tonic/ an escape shoot.....
....'til I suddenly had a longed for (deeply grateful for) flash of remembering:
Look for the Love.
The quiet voice in my head (and heart), the one that speaks when my shouty, whiney, busy, this is SO hard, head-voice shuts up for a minute, told me this:
'When there's brightness in his eyes, let it radiate out and into yours.
'When there's curiosity in his voice, enter into his questions, and his world.
'When there's creativity and energy in his actions, meet them with your own (if you do this open-heartedly, you will find that you have more than enough of both of these in the moment, never mind the night, the day, the week that's gone before).
'When he's angry sit with him.
When he's sad, sit with him.
When he's tantruming, sit with him, tell him it's okay and let it run it's course.
'ALL of the tricky stuff is just his sticking thinking. If you add yours to it, neither of you are ever going to 'win' this game called Life, particularly the game called Life with a three-year old and a tired mummy.'
I hear this little voice and it leaves me with this:
'Lean into the Love.
'When your thinking stops for a minute and you are clear-minded enough to notice even a glimmer of what's deeply True in that little person, dive into it, celebrate it, nurture it, enjoy it.
'Nurture what's True, and the rest will sort itself.
'Nurture what's True and you will know what to do and how to handle him, and you.
Nurture what's True and LEAVE the sticky thinking alone... his and yours.'
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