I've got a ridiculous bubbling excitement about life in me at the moment.
And I know where it comes from.
It comes from seeing deeper into what life is.
What and who I am.
What and who you are.
What and who we all are - all of us, all of it.
A L L O F I T.
I don't mean I've become some kind of quantum physicist or done an Eckhart Tolle and sat on a park bench for a year or suddenly understood *intellectually* how the whole thing works.
What I have had is a taste of the feeling, the knowing one gets when one sees beneath the veneer of all the bollocks we tell ourselves is true about ourselves, about other people, about the world, about who we are and how life works and what we need (and don't need) to be okay, to feel the way we want to feel, to keep our made-up-selves 'safe'
Pheugh! I feel exhausted just thinking about all the thinking and efforting that goes into keeping all that bollocks in place.
Some of it - the running commentary in your head - you might enjoy.
Some of it you might not enjoy.
No matter.
All of it - everything we think about ourselves, others, the world - is COMPLETELY and UTTERLY MADE UP.
The 'good' stuff, the 'bad' stuff, the enjoyable stuff, the hard to handle stuff and all the stuff in between.
You're not enjoying life as much as you'd like?
Look beneath the veneer.
It's not difficult.
It's not time consuming.
It's yours for the taking, and the understanding.
This is not just for 'enlightened' folks.
This is human and real.
This is important.
That feeling bubbling is freedom, and excitement and love and compassion and energy and stillness.
And yes we get to experience those things ‘already’, on and off, during our daily lives, even with ‘the veneer’ in place.
On and off.
'When the circumstances are "right"' - (a sunny day in the park with friends, a promotion, a windfall, a mountain top, buzzing in a club, relaxation at the end of a yoga class).
Well that: 'I feel good when the circumstances are "right"', is bollocks too.
It's not about the circumstances.
It's NEVER about the circumstances.
This feeling. This 'knowing' is WHO YOU ARE (even while all the shouty, whispery, insidious, nice, not nice, made up bollocks runs through your head; even when the shit hits the fan, even when your baby dies, even when you lose your job, even when you haven't got a fucking clue what's going to happen next, financially, romantically, anything-ly).
This knowing was there when I was crying on the phone to my husband yesterday about, I'm not sure what? An overwhelming sadness, I couldn't quite put my finger on.
This knowing is there this morning when I'm wandering around the house in my pyjamas, doing fuck all with my precious kid-free time, eating chocolate biscuits for want of any better ideas. (A one off, clearly. Actually, who am I kidding ;))
This knowing made yesterday utterly magical even though it was utterly ordinary.
If you're curious. If you're tired of the feeling of not feeling right about your job, about your relationship, about yourself:
Look beneath the veneer.
It can feel wobbly and scary to blow up everything that you feel is holding 'you' in place. But I can promise you, it's worth the leap.
You don't disappear.
The bollocks gets stripped away.
And what's left is contentedness, creativity, confidence, resilience, capability, loving-ness, wise-ness.
All the things the bollocks was valiantly trying to conjure up and hold in place to keep you okay, happy, safe.
It's ALL ALREADY THERE.
Save yourself the efforting:
Look beneath the veneer.
And I know where it comes from.
It comes from seeing deeper into what life is.
What and who I am.
What and who you are.
What and who we all are - all of us, all of it.
A L L O F I T.
I don't mean I've become some kind of quantum physicist or done an Eckhart Tolle and sat on a park bench for a year or suddenly understood *intellectually* how the whole thing works.
What I have had is a taste of the feeling, the knowing one gets when one sees beneath the veneer of all the bollocks we tell ourselves is true about ourselves, about other people, about the world, about who we are and how life works and what we need (and don't need) to be okay, to feel the way we want to feel, to keep our made-up-selves 'safe'
Pheugh! I feel exhausted just thinking about all the thinking and efforting that goes into keeping all that bollocks in place.
Some of it - the running commentary in your head - you might enjoy.
Some of it you might not enjoy.
No matter.
All of it - everything we think about ourselves, others, the world - is COMPLETELY and UTTERLY MADE UP.
The 'good' stuff, the 'bad' stuff, the enjoyable stuff, the hard to handle stuff and all the stuff in between.
You're not enjoying life as much as you'd like?
Look beneath the veneer.
It's not difficult.
It's not time consuming.
It's yours for the taking, and the understanding.
This is not just for 'enlightened' folks.
This is human and real.
This is important.
That feeling bubbling is freedom, and excitement and love and compassion and energy and stillness.
And yes we get to experience those things ‘already’, on and off, during our daily lives, even with ‘the veneer’ in place.
On and off.
'When the circumstances are "right"' - (a sunny day in the park with friends, a promotion, a windfall, a mountain top, buzzing in a club, relaxation at the end of a yoga class).
Well that: 'I feel good when the circumstances are "right"', is bollocks too.
It's not about the circumstances.
It's NEVER about the circumstances.
This feeling. This 'knowing' is WHO YOU ARE (even while all the shouty, whispery, insidious, nice, not nice, made up bollocks runs through your head; even when the shit hits the fan, even when your baby dies, even when you lose your job, even when you haven't got a fucking clue what's going to happen next, financially, romantically, anything-ly).
This knowing was there when I was crying on the phone to my husband yesterday about, I'm not sure what? An overwhelming sadness, I couldn't quite put my finger on.
This knowing is there this morning when I'm wandering around the house in my pyjamas, doing fuck all with my precious kid-free time, eating chocolate biscuits for want of any better ideas. (A one off, clearly. Actually, who am I kidding ;))
This knowing made yesterday utterly magical even though it was utterly ordinary.
If you're curious. If you're tired of the feeling of not feeling right about your job, about your relationship, about yourself:
Look beneath the veneer.
It can feel wobbly and scary to blow up everything that you feel is holding 'you' in place. But I can promise you, it's worth the leap.
You don't disappear.
The bollocks gets stripped away.
And what's left is contentedness, creativity, confidence, resilience, capability, loving-ness, wise-ness.
All the things the bollocks was valiantly trying to conjure up and hold in place to keep you okay, happy, safe.
It's ALL ALREADY THERE.
Save yourself the efforting:
Look beneath the veneer.
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